How to convince people in the workplace: 8 persuasive tips

Charm only goes so far: The evidence behind how to convince someone

When you think of a persuasive person, you might imagine the disingenuous salesperson manipulating others to get what they want. Or, perhaps your mind goes straight to an authoritarian leader, who achieves company goals by barking orders at others.

Neither of these cliches reflects what it truly means to be an impactful and convincing communicator. In fact, you'll often find that the most persuasive people come across as gentle, caring, and fair.

There's a good reason behind this: extensive research shows that empathy is the key to building a persuasive argument.² This is the ability to understand what another person is thinking, feeling, and experiencing. By understanding what drives others, you can show that you've considered their needs, which is essential for building trust.

Know your audience and what motivates them

The golden rule of marketing is to have a clear vision of who you're speaking to, and to tailor your message accordingly. The same rule of thumb applies to convincing others to get on board with your ideas and requests!

However, you may not always have oversight over what motivates the person you are trying to convince. After all, what people say can be different from what's going on under the surface. Fingerprint for Success facilitates this empathy by giving you unparalleled insight into these hidden drives.

At F4S, we've been studying motivation for more than 20 years, and have identified 48 core traits that influence what energizes and drives people at work. Through taking the Work Style Assessment with your team, you gain a snapshot of your co-workers' core values, and what fires them up.

These evidence-based insights help organizations build a high-performance team culture, through improving collaboration, communication, and harmony. They also enable you to craft more persuasive arguments in the workplace, whether you're trying to encourage your boss to hire more staff members or get a project idea over the line.

Empathy skills are not only valuable for the workplace, but also in your personal life. Perhaps you're wondering how to convince your partner to get a dog, or encourage your parents to do something about their leaking roof. On a more serious note, you may find yourself in situations where you must convince someone with a mental illness to seek professional help.

It's important to note the difference between supporting someone to do something that will be beneficial for them, and forcing someone to do something against their will. In any case, by tying your arguments to the person's personal motivations, you can more effectively get through to them.

Persuasion tips: The best ways to convince someone in 8 steps

It's important to note that while empathy is crucial, it's not the sole factor involved in convincing people. To get others to hear you, it's important to combine emotional reasoning with strong interpersonal communication skills. This may involve strong storytelling, social proof, body language, eye contact, and more, to get your message across. Read on for a step-by-step guide to set yourself up for success.

1. Understand how they make decisions:

Research shows that 90% of our decision making is subconscious³ meaning it's often an emotionally-charged, knee-jerk reaction. But, just because your audience may not be aware of how they make decisions, doesn't mean you can't be! For example, the F4S report may reveal that your co-worker is big on evidence-based decision making, in which case, you'd likely want to include some persuasive stats in your pitch.

On the other hand, if they're someone who needs a longer period of time to think things over, it can be a good idea to encourage them to sleep on the decision.

2. Choose the right medium for your pitch:

Similarly, in order to communicate in a powerful and persuasive way, it's crucial to understand how your audience processes information. Perhaps, like 65% of the population,⁴ your boss is a visual learner, and will best absorb your message through a slide deck or with visual stimuli. Or, if they have a hearing learning style, your pitch may be better delivered on the phone, or even through a voice message that they can replay as many times as necessary. These 'decision inputs' play a pivotal role in how your audience responds to your request.

3. Speak their language:

Another consideration is the communication style of your audience. Perhaps your boss has an affective communication style, and puts a strong emphasis on nonverbal communication and body language. In this scenario, you'd likely be better off having important conversations in person or on a video call, so they can better read these cues. It's always easier to convey warmth and empathy in person!

Using the right vernacular for your audience is also key. If your audience is a big picture thinker, you may want to use storytelling to communicate your vision. But, if they're in the business of numbers, data will likely give you an advantage.

4. Structure your argument:

Even if you're brilliant on the spot, it's a wise idea to have an idea of what you want to say before you enter these discussions. Otherwise, it's far too easy to lose your train of thought, go off on unrelated tangents, or over-explain (which is a surefire way to erode credibility).

Adapted from psychotherapy, the D-E-A-R-M-A-N strategy is a great way to deliver a strong argument and stay on track.⁵ It involves Describing the topic, issue, or request, Expressing your feelings about the situation, Asserting your request (ie. explicitly asking for what you want), and Reinforcing the positive benefits of what you're asking for. To strengthen your approach, stay Mindful of your goals (ie. don't get distracted), Appear confident, and be willing to Negotiate (more on that later!)

5. Ask, don't tell:

Let's be honest, nobody likes to be told what to do. As humans, we're so averse to having our personal freedoms taken away, there's a name for this phenomenon: psychological reactance. This is the negative emotional reaction evoked when someone threatens our sense of agency and autonomy. Often, this can have a demotivating effect, where the person is more likely to be defiant or uncooperative in response.⁶

Think about when you were a teen and your parents asked you to clean your room, so you didn't (even though you were initially going to do it anyway!) While it's important to ask clearly for what you want, this should feel like a collaborative effort where you're working to find a solution together. Not only is this an effective way to achieve your goals, it can help build a stronger bond with that person in the long term.

6. Be a good listener:

Persuasive communication is as much about what you don't say, as what you do. Once you've said your piece, it's important to give that person the floor, so they can share any thoughts, concerns, or ideas. While they're speaking, practice active listening, giving them your full attention, and actively concentrating on what they say. This is also a great opportunity to practice the art of reflection, or repeating back.

For example, try saying, ‘I'm hearing that you're happy to move our team meeting to Tuesday, as long as it's before 10 am, is that correct?' Not only does this help the person feel seen, heard, and understood, but it also convinces them they came up with the idea!

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